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subaru
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Name: Subaru
Location: Japan
Birthday: 2/19/1974
Gender: Male


Interests: drinking, smoking, brooding, hopping from building to building, thinking
Expertise: trained in onmyujitsu, exorcism, ofuda magic
Occupation: Consulting
Industry: Nonprofit


Message: message me


Member Since: 7/8/2001

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Thursday, December 05, 2002

*smiles* Thanks for the ones who are still reading this blog even if it's been so long time since last upday. Gosh, a year now...

What has to be explained here is simple: the co-writer that used to post with me is gone. Forever. And now I've been looking at this shrine of those memories wanting to do something with it. I don't know what but something. Now, I've decided to make something: continue it.

In a couple of days  it's going to move as it used to be, only that with only one writer. Me.

*waves to all* Thank you...


Friday, September 07, 2001

Seishirou no nikki day # 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Peaceful places give us the time and oportunity to be introspective.

Turning ourselves back to old fashined ways, let us see how easy it is to look for simple and quick answers to situations, problems and things we consider troublesome. Naturally, as humans, we look much far away than where the close answer is.

I saw the sea today.

Diminute waves breaking at the stones, caressing, and finally dying. Like a victim asking his murdered for mercy. Begging, and finally, giving into the killer's hands.

As assassin I learned two things.

One is that I've been closer to death than the one who's going to pass away in my illusions, even if I controlled the moment and its concecuences. Even if I was the death giver. Second, that after all, we are doing this for something though many say they do it just because. For fun, for money, for madness; killing has always a motto. Mine was boresome. And put a final point to my ignorance in feelings.

And now, here I am.
The assassin, the Sakurazukamori, the shadow hunter, the Sumeragi Clan's worst enemy, the unspeakable nightmare... Nothing. Nothing against the inmensity of that sea I had in front.
Some time ago, I could see myself as an empty thing. Careless. Lifeless. But nowadays, I have what we call...

A family.

I remember how I used to still with a huge interrogation sign upon my head when I heard people talking about family ties, union... how they looked happy together and sitting in the living room, just talking and laughing. Living. My mother was all the family I could consider. But she wasn't a mother for me at all. She was the one I had to kill to become
Sakurazukamori. Just that. A connection between the title and me. Days with her passed by, with no importance at all. Minutes, months, years... wasted.

I look at the platinum ring in my finger and Subaru-kun's kind face remains in my heart.

/My/ family.

My real and only family, all I have in this life. For what I live, work, fight and care. My soul, heart, mind... My all self.

My dear Subaru-kun.

...

Soon the Highest Priest will come. I'm going to settle new guards on Subaru before he comes.
Nothing else to say.

S.S.
 


Seishirou no nikki day # 1

- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Yuki no e wo
Jaru mo kaketaru
Jokori kana

 He smiled a little more regarding at the fury of colours at dusk. Hands hidden in his sleeves, his tall figure cut the landscape. A noisy group of cranes and their croaking drove his eyes to watch the ellegant birds flying away. To the North, looking for warmer climates, that's for sure. The fluttering sound becoming far and distant and then, the silence. Deathful silence.

Sublime.

He turned around and started his walk back to the Shrine. The orchid coloured kimono with streams and irises, moved against the muscled shapes of its owner. A young monk passed in front of him with dried blankets in a basket. Noticing the Clan leader's presence, the youth made a quick reverence. The big man continued his way.

He stopped at the door's entrance. Motioning his face to his left, he followed with his eyes the lines of the corridor's floor, under the old roof.

A thin graceful human form was looking at him, standing at the eastern part of the next house complex, just a few meters from where he was. A man, yes. Wearing a white kimono, skinny hands closed at the level of his heart.

Both men exchanged glances in the large space between. The white onmyouji took a step forward. The dark one, offered him a glint of warmth, and got into his maku.

Opening the thin paper door, he greeted the two women cleaning the floor and the third one, who was adjsting her elaborated eboshi.

"Kare no yatate, hayaku!" the older lady looked at the younger girl, who was using the room owner's mirror for her personal arrangement and made her command. The teenaged shoujo blushed a little and left everything in its original order, walking out as fast as she could.

Seishirou smiled, "There's no need of hurry"

The maiden whispered something to the left girl and a few seconds later, five female members of the inverted pentagram Clan, entered the place carrying a new outfit. Slowly and with almost exagerated care, they disvested the man, dressed him again with new clothes. During the process, the dark onmyouji kept himself quiet and silent, looking at the front at nothing in particular, with heavy eyes.

This is part of Subaru's training to enlighten his powers. The 13 Head of the Sumeragi Clan have been pretty tired after dealing with a certainly important number of "jobs" Nokoru asked him to do. So, we decided to take ten days (making all the previous arrangementes for University, Vet's and other obligations) in a quiet place out from the metropolitan madness, But this peaceful paradise has its price: as opposite forces, we have to spare our spiritual time apart in the same Shrine but, not sharing foods, excercises or even talks. We are only allowed to stay together only once in the day. Physically together.

Anyways, I acceded first because of Subaru, then, because of me too. I think I also need this instruction.

Kimi wa mamoru. No matter how, I will.

The stirring of small hands fiting a yukata on his shoulders brought him back to reality. Outside, the night gained the sky, an infinite sea of stars. A fresh breeze was calling him. The women left the room in line, carrying the previously used clothes, leaving the Sakurazuka  alone. He stepped outside and sat at the door tilting his head backwards facing the mirror plate. The girl finally appeared with the yatate. Seishirou gave her a gentle grin and opened the little box with the ink, brushes and other elements and stared at the blank sheet of paper for a while.

He drew a kanji. Then some other hiragama.
His hand, writing with the concern of a surjeon giving his first cut.

The moon rolled by in the middle of the mute night.

He heard the subtle sound of steps coming and doubled the paper with the ink already dried, in four pieces.

"Koban wa," the white figure said and sat besides him. A marked hand with the ancestral sign came enfolding his. Seishirou let a brief calid kiss on the corner of the young man's lips. Subaru rested his head over his husband's shoulder, half closing his eyes.

Ukikusa ya
Ike no mannaka ni
Iishomuru

The sound of the bell caught the married men attention. It announced the time for the Highest Priest to go to his maku, with his followers accompanying him into the reserved place. A murmur of prays were heard after the screens shut closed. Behind the couple, a small group of monks with their paper lanterns told them that time was over for today. Before leaving, the Sakurazukamori handled the paper to his koi.

In his sleeping clothes, Subaru read the paper. His green eyes trembled in wetness. He pressed the letter to his chest, relishing the heat of his lover's words and mumbled his name.

Laying on his bed, the man drew a weak smile.

Kitto...

S.S.


- - - - - - - -

Note: Haiku poems by Masaoka Shiki. 


Wednesday, August 15, 2001

No...
To stay and pass time
it's not to last long, not to exist
neither to honor life.

There are so many ways of not to be
so many conscience unknown,
to deserve life is not to shut up
and consent so many repeated injustice...

It's a virtue, it's dignity
and the more defined attitude
of identity.

That, of staying and passing time
don't give us the right to presume,
cause it's not the same to live
than honor life.

No...
To stay and pass time
not always suggests to honor life.
There's so many little vanity
in our blind silly humanity.

To deserve life is to set oneself
straight and vertical
farther on wrong and falls.

It's like giving truth
and our freedom
our very welcome.

That of staying and pass time
don't give us the right to presume
cause it's not the same to live
Than honor life.

                                                ~ To honor life ~
                                                  Eladia Blazquez


Tuesday, August 14, 2001

Without chains on my feet
I started to walk.
Long time ago
I wanted to find the way.

Nothing scapes, nothing dies
nobody forgets, that I know
Nothing scapes, nothing dies
nobody forgets, that I know.

And I've lost, I've won
and I knew how to defend.
I'm my own light, North and South
My big home
I'm the edge of this place
A burning map.

Without chains on my feet...

                       

                          Ricardo Hortal (2000, Argentina)



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